Monday, June 17, 2013

Poetic Words from a Great Philosopher - Willie Nelson

Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker, and a highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so profound! Read the words of wisdom from that famous philosopher Willie Nelson, iconic country and western singer, on his 75th birthday below his esteemed portrait. Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life.
"I have outlived my pecker."
A Poem - by Willie Nelson
My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out.
What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job, To find the friggin thing.
It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave.
For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches, It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head, And watch me tie my shoes!




Saturday, June 15, 2013

Friday, June 14, 2013

A Funny Little Joke......

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job.

There's no way we can afford it.'

The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase.

So he asked, 'Son, where are you going?'

Little Joseph told him, 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out.
Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.

And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no f*#ken bike.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Friday, June 7, 2013

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Skinny Hairy French Amateur

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SOMETHING TO PUT IN YOUR WILL?

  Cancel your credit card before you die. 
Can you believe this?
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die!
This is so priceless, and, so easy to see happening,
customer service being what it is today.  
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but is now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. 
Here is the exchange :
Family Member:’ I am calling to tell you she died back in January.' 
Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.' 
Family Member: 'Maybe you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Citibank : 'Excuse me?' Family Member:’ Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.' Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'  Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?' Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)  Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given) After they get the fax : Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.' Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.' Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'
(What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Citibank : 'That might help.....' Family Member:  ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery!' Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'

(Priceless!!)And you wondered why Citibank needed help from the Feds.